- NOT EVERYONE WHO FINDS SOUGHT
- THE PROBLEM OF REAL MEN
- THE CAUSE
- INITIATING /= PURSUING /= LEADING
- LADIES TO PURSUE
- PURSUING, LEADING, AND SUBMISSION
- LOVE STORY AN ORCHESTRA
NOT EVERYONE WHO FINDS SOUGHT
It’s February, and quotes, statements and stories about romantic relationships and singlehood has been flooding my walls. Yet there’s this one phrase that really caught my attention:
“Ladies should wait for the man to initiate and pursue.“
I’ve heard from a lot of people that women should sit and wait, while guys should man up, and that real man should pursue, despite the threat of women’s high standards. I personally was a believer of this part of the debris which I think left by the culture and tradition of the Christian Church, and our history, just like the idea of wearing long skirts and sleeves for girls. To the ladies who received a letter from me saying you’re a treasure that needs to be hidden unless a man finds you from God, I want to apologize. I don’t want to make you believe wholly in something that I’m partly believing now. I guess I was so grounded in that assumption before without no strong foundation at all; I was only going with the flow of what’s in trend. Although I am not really saying that those who believe otherwise are in the wrong side and are believing a false truth, what I am trying to show is that different people have different cases in this matter.
After hearing the statement above again and again this month, I was beginning to think that there’s something wrong about the claim, which lead me to a series of questions that have been building up and filling up my jar. Thus, this article was made.
Provers 18:22 says ‘he who finds a wife has found happiness’. Does it mean ladies really are treasures meant to be hidden unless God wants a man to find her?
The first thing I want to point out here is that, this verse didn’t mean the man was seeking. Consider the verse He who finds Me [God] finds life (Proverbs 8:35). Not everyone who found Jesus, were intentional, at least, in their part. Some just accidentally/randomly met a person who shared them Jesus, without them having this as a personal goal. An example of this is when we had an evangelical mission where we went to places and talk to some strangers about the gospel. Yet we know it’s not merely an accident because God wills it to happen. Well, this doesn’t explain the totally of this verse, but this is just a result of pondering about it in a while, in relation to pursuing and dating.
The story of Boaz is a Biblical example of this. He did not seek, nor intended to find, but he accidentally found Ruth on the field and took notice of her. (We’ll talk more about their story later.) This reminds me of when I was looking for a certain thing around the house, and I ended up finding some random picture that was taken 10 years ago. It doesn’t mean I was seeking for it but I found it! (I wanna thank my brother for this illustration.) A thing can be caused by a factor of an external force, just like how we experience things daily that’s not merely a consequence of our own actions, but also because of some actions made by people around us, plus the integration of how this world and the universe works.
Now you might think that the verse seek and you will find (Matthew 7:7) contradicts but it doesn’t. If you seek, you will find. But it doesn’t mean that if you have found it, you have sought it. More over, this is also not equivalent to saying that if you did not seek, then you will not find. We have just discussed earlier that you can accidentally find something without trying to look for it. (You can look up the equivalence of an if-then statement.)