Disclaimer: There are two meanings of the word single here. One is not being married yet, which is more broad, and the other is having no boyfriend/girlfriend. I hope you won’t get confused as you read along. 😉
In my whole life of existence, dating is something I haven’t met yet. There are days that I desire for it and there are days that I just want to experience the blessings of being a single woman.
On the process of adult-ing, I have witnessed various kinds of dating from others and mind you, as single as I am, I have already my own stand about it.
Dating is not the greatest pleasure there is.
In my generation today, I’ve seen a lot among us who are so much into dating, really wanting it badly like it brings the greatest pleasure.
There are a lot of great and wonderful things out there, ready to be discovered.
It’s not the only beautiful relationship in this life that God gave us. A joyful relationship isn’t contained in dating and marriage alone, but it is seen in any relationship that puts Christ at the center.
And just to clear some things out, to get married is not the main goal of adulthood. Life is not about it. It is about honoring God. And definitely, you can honor God in singleness or in marriage.
Dating is okay.
I guess at some point in our lives, we desire of holding someone else’s hands while strolling around the park, a beautiful wedding scene, a honeymoon of grandeur, and a happy family in the future. And live happily ever after.
You know, the stuff that comes with that thing they call true love.
I, personally, like those things. Like I said before, I often times desire of experiencing the joy of having a partner in life. And that is okay! Actually, it is good! Because our God is the one who authored marriage.
Being in love is so wonderful and beautiful because it comes from the Author of love Himself.
However, not everything that comes with dating today is okay. There are things that a couple must limit themselves into and there are boundaries that they should be aware of.
One major example is when keeping your purity, physically and in mind. As Christians, the Bible is our guideline to a rightful dating, and it says the act of sex should be done within the boundary of marriage, and outside of it.
Dating is a preparation for marriage.
If not, so why date? Do you date just to satisfy your flesh? Peer pressure? Some selfish desires comes when your flesh starts to act over it.
Often times, we try to find completeness from those who love us and those who we love, not realizing they fail as much as we do. And if not from the person, we sometimes idolize the feeling itself. The feeling of being romantically in love with somebody. Satisfaction is already drawn from the euphoria of being in love with someone else.
These are wrong reasons because selfish desires only gives us a temporal cloud 9 feeling which will never, ever satisfy us in the long run. having the wrong reasons for dating leads the relationship into a place full of distress, pain, and mistrust. You’ll continually find yourself tired and drained looking more for it.
More than these, they take away the place where God should be.
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind”
He said in His word that loving God means to put Him above anything else, above any person, and above any feeling.
Dating is okay, it’s really great and amazing, when it is inside the boundary of God’s purpose. And it is to glorify Him together with the other person within the relationship, not the other person nor the feeling.
Not dating is okay.
I’ve seen people who are not satisfied with being single. People who are unhappy with their lives because they felt being left behind and lonely. They believe they are someone less and they lack something.
The problem is we continually look at what others have. Envy comes, wishing we would have that too. We feel incomplete whenever we think about not having someone we could hold hands with.
Well, if you’re like that, I know exactly how you feel because I once belonged in that group. But let me tell you that singleness isn’t a curse as a lot of people would say.
Singleness is a blessing.
Singleness is an amazing blessing as much as being married is!
Even when married people can do a lot of things together for God, you on your own can also do a lot of things for God. Because it is not another human being who gives you the ability to do what God tells you to do. It is God who gives you grace so that you can obey Him, honor Him, and please Him in whatever season you are in.
Being single doesn’t mean lack and less. His grace is sufficient and His love makes you complete!
Isn’t that amazing?! It is really okay to not to date! This world is the only one who tells you that, not the Lord who knows and loves you perfectly and deeply.
And if today, you really desire to have a partner, you might’ve already asked God a countless times why you haven’t received the one yet. There’s nothing for me to say but this very cliche line:
Trust His timing.
God placed you in that position because that is where you can worship Him best at this moment. And instead of lurking around and self-pitying, try to seek God more. Build your relationship with God more.
Make yourself delight in your relationship with God, that you will be too busy wanting more of Him that you got no time to look for people to complete you. Because Jesus is the ultimate person that you should settle in your life with.
The right timing doesn’t really guarantee you a partner.
It means either the timing of having a partner, or the timing of having a thankful, content heart with joy of being single. And in either way, whatever His will is, it is always good.
So, if you’ve met dating already, I hope that today, you are reminded that your ultimate goal in dating is to worship God in and with it. Your relationship might be like a roller coaster ride but if it is God-centered, you’ll have peace all throughout the ride.
If you’re like me and you haven’t met dating yet, or you’ve been single for quite some time now, or recently experienced a break up with traces of tears left, maybe God wants you to meet the cross at this very moment to remind and assure you again that His love is enough for you to enjoy this life.
If you have a strong desire for marriage, pray for it. Pray that your heart will be aligned to His purpose on how He designed relationship for. Pray for someone who will not steal you from God, but will draw you closer to Him.
Pray because He delights in giving good gifts to His children. Have faith and trust His timing.